Maya ([info]mistful) wrote,
@ 2005-05-23 09:52:00
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Current mood: amused
So, Star Wars.
So, I swore I wouldn't see it. Because I actually had to be tackled forcibly by my tiny little brother to stop me walking out of Phantom Menace. Because I, in a tragic lack of my usually trustworthy nerdishness, never actually liked the first trilogy much. Because, I thought to myself, I have exams. And *standards.*
However, I really love [info]silver_shoes, so, that was then, and this is now.
All the same, it amazes me how much people love it. There was an enormous queue of people who already had tickets but wanted really good seats! Two queues!
MAYA: Muahahahahahaha. I mock you all.
MY FRIENDS: You. Write. Harry Potter. Porn.
MAYA: ... now the Star Wars fans are laughing at me. This is rock bottom.
MY FRIENDS: I dare you to kiss that lifesize cardboard cutout of Angelina Jolie!
MAYA: And behold, we drilled through rock bottom and struck humiliation oil!
And then... wonder of wonders, I... think I liked it. A lot. This is why, with mockery, because if this trailer's not a-mockin', I'm probably dead in here.
Spoiler:
A long time ago, in a galaxy where Maya was completely indifferent: CGI! CGI! CGI!
LUCAS: Look, look what I can do! They all totally look like real spaceships! I don't need humans to make a movie at all! You're all fired, all of you! Fear me, puny earthlings!
OBI-WAN: Right then, it's time to fight General, er... (Ewan nobly controls himself) Grievous.
ANAKIN: Grievous? Seriously?
OBI-WAN: Yes. General Grievous. Seriously. Because that is what his name is.
ANAKIN: You know, if I was evil, I'd want something with a more sinister ring to it. Not that I'm evil. Totally not evil.
OBI-WAN: R2D2, can we make the lifts go up? (His voice blares out to more or less the entire spaceship)
R2D2: It's the future and I don't have a mute button? Harsh, Lucas.
COUNT DOOKU: I will fight you both, Jedi! I am leader of this rebellion, and I could completely have a higher rank, but you see how Duke Dooku would be an unfortunate name, don't you?
ANAKIN: Don't even care. Killing you like whoa.
OBI-WAN: *gets ingloriously knocked out. Everyone still thinks he is cooler than Anakin*
ANAKIN:... I shouldn't kill him, though, should I?
PALPATINE: Go on, you brave, handsome Jedi, you.
ANAKIN: Well, I have been working out. Could you tell?
PALPATINE: Annie, Annie, he's our man, if he can't do it, no-one can!
ANAKIN: You've convinced me. *kills!*
There's more on the blog:
http://www.livejournal.com/users/mistful
Her Harry Potter one was even better.