Quote:
Originally Posted by Prudence
No Boris this morning. I should have left the door open last night. I know he's probably dead and it's my fault. I had him declawed. I didn't double check that the door was shut tight and locked. I let a poor, sick, defenseless indoor kitty, who was depending on me, get out into the outside world. I continue to spend my waking hours weeping for him. He deserved better than me. I love him so much it's just breaking my heart that he's out there alone, thinking I abandoned him. I've never felt this level of guilt before. I don't even know what to do with myself.
|
Here's what to do with yourself - Stop beating yourself up. Whatever mistake you may have made was a mistake, an accident. You obviously love the cat dearly, and no one would ever accuse you of being negligent - except for your unforgiving inner voice.
You're going to woulda/coulda/shoulda yourself into an early grave, lady, and your projections of what Boris is thinking, or that you KNOW that he's dead, are not helping.
Others here have had similar experiences with cats returning. Instead of thinking of worst case scenarios, perhaps you can concentrate on possible positive outcomes. You needn't punish yourself over and over with such awful thoughts and grieve for someone who may not be gone yet.
Give Boris - and yourself - some time.