[Prudence]

But this isn't like him at all. He's afraid of everything.

I was just out, walking around, and it was so still out there. I was calling his name and nothing. I'm so exhausted, but I'm trying to stay up for him. I have meetings tomorrow I have to attend (about my job (dis)satisfaction - I need to be alert), but how can I put myself above him?

Part of me is tempted to just go to sleep, and let him take care of himself. The other part feels I am obligated to keep searching, stay awake, and keep looking for him.

The worst is that when I'm out there in this stillness - I feel like he's gone. I don't sense him out there. I can't explain it. I can't tall you how much I hope I'm wrong, and that I'm just giving myself the creeps because it's dark and quiet and spooky, but I'm so afraid that he's gone. There's been no response to my calls. Nothing. Maybe we should have looked farther yesterday, but I can't see him crossing these streets. But, then again, I couldn't see him taking off like this, either.

I want to hope, but part of me has accepted him being gone. It's coping, I know. I can't stand to be in this limbo and not know.