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If I were you I would have a convo with your husband/s.o. to tell him that his friend can't keep running to your house to escape his problems. It's not that you don't want to be supportive of the guy but he comes there and all his crap is now dumped on your door and you get caught in the middle. No one likes to be caught in the middle. You shouldn't have to deal with his wife or their drama.
Sorry you had a sucky night but those people shouldn't be ruining your life too!
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