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1) Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking, I have taken the liberty of preparing a few brief remarks. [Unfurl scroll to raucous laughter.]
2) On this solemn occasion, I am reminded of the joke about the priest who complained to his friend the rabbi about the rat problem he was having at his church. . . . . It was easy, said the rabbi. I bar mitzvahed all the rats. I haven't seen them since. Many of us will be like those bar mitzvahed rats, taking our school honors, never to return. And yet . . .
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Live now-pay later. Diner's Club!
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