Every comment is appreciated.
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Originally Posted by Boss Radio
So...who's the mid-twenties woman? Anyone we know?
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Hey, are you calling me disorganized?
Let's just say she's got a nice chunk of my worst habits in her.
EH, good call on the style decisions. I'll probably end up with all "vignettes" (chapters?) done in a similar style....or at least, the variations will simply be a matter of point of view. I'm not too happy with the concept of form trumping function for this story.
This post was me attempting to kick a freeloading adult child out of my mental basement. I want to yell at my random notes on this story. "Go on, grow up! Get a job as a story collection or something! Just get out of my head!"
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Originally Posted by EH
We are aware that we are on a freeway, observing the various cars, so I don’t think it’s important that you address the movement from car to car each time.
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Ok, I'll give on that. I have this very visual version of all this in my head and it's been hard to let go of that...but I was wrestling with those lines when I wrote it, and you're right.
I like the "wondering" idea, definitely worth considering.
My original draft included many more people, almost twice as many. I think that for an ensemble movie that would work, but as a written story, it was a lot to be hit with at once. I think I'll add a few more back in, and beef the whole thing up in general before moving on. In reading this again now, it feels rather skeletal to me.