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Like I said above, the occasions of my being spanked as a kid are not cherished memories, but I do think that my mom handled it about as well as possible if corporal punishment is going to be part of the parenting ouvre (and I have no problem at all with it not being so, I am not one to argue that a lack of corporal punishment will result in flawed children).
1. It was an extremely rare occurrence and only in response to truly significant incidents. I'd say I was spanked maybe four times between the age of 5 and 12. I only remember the actual trigger for two of them, one was when I'd been aiming my (loaded) BB gun at one of my sisters (just for fun, no intent to shoot, but still...) and the other was when I was caught stealing money.
2. It was never done in anger or the heat of the moment. It was always a "go to your room for a couple hours while we think about this" thing. Then when the deed was done it was explained what it would be and that is what it was.
3. As there was never any feeling that it was being done in anger there was also never any fear that serious, lasting pain was being sought. It was never the case that we were spanked so hard that sitting afterward would be uncomfortable.
The part I strongly disagree with was the use of a hairbrush (most of the time) as opposed to the hand, but I figure that was an improvement on the cycle since she grew up with it being a wooden spoon (a lot more angular momentum in that tool).
But it was still a shock one time when at a friends house and we were doing something we shouldn't have been and got caught by his dad who simply grabbed him, threw him over a knee, and just went to town on him (also making it clear that if it weren't for the law I'd probably be next in line). The savagery was appalling to me. And while I can understand how to many people it isn't all that different from what my mom did to me, I personally never felt they were the same thing.
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