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Ours is a house divided when it comes to Inception. Though I suspect neither of us like it as much as you all seem to. I think it's certainly compelling on a storytelling level, but the characters took a back seat to plot, and to me, that's something that could have been easily fixed and would have improved the film overall.
When it comes to the is-it-or-isn't-it-a-dream discussion, the answer seems abundantly clear to me. The children are the same age, in the same position, wearing the same clothes as in his dream... years after he last saw them. What he's seeing is not reality, just what he allows himself to see when he thinks it's reality.
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