Again, thank all of you for your responses. I love that there are so many varied opinions. Hard to talk with people around me as they think I have not done my job by not taking him to church. {Thanks, Greg, I needed to hear that I am handling it well..I am trying!}
My son is 16. It has been a few years since he has been expressing these views. Before that it wasn't really a topic we discussed.
BTD~good point. If you have the confidence to succeed, that is what you need. I've had people tell me 'You can DO it' when I know darn well I can't. ha ha
Morri~ I loved your point...until GD posted his view.
True, we can feel the wind and we have seen its' effects upon our yard. BUT I got what you meant.
Alex~ you are right. That is how he believes. If there is no basis, etc. I also like your response about prayer. That is how I've come to feel. But, I still, when times are very tough, light a candle and send my thoughts of well being when someone is sick or hurt. It makes me feel better? Because there is nothing else I can do? My son has said this, too. People pray because that is all they can do sometimes. But that it doesn't change anything.
GD~ I will have to look into those books. One thing I've learned, being as old as I am, you do have to let them think for themselves. Isn't that what we want? To be able to think for ourselves and be confident in that.
You and CP are very smart and I always knew you'd tackle this issue of parenting wisely. I have books for almost every step of the way. LOL Even puberty. ha ha I have a 'handbook' for kids and it says that most of the things my teens have put me through are perfectly normal. They do say hurtful things but they don't mean it. They really don't.
That is also a good point, to ask him what he is afraid of. From what I've seen, not much. He is careful not to get hurt, though. Okay, now, this I feel came from the deaths of his grandmother/uncle. She died when he was 9, the uncle when he was 12. That is maybe when he started to question the afterlife, also. About that time, though, he started to refuse to ride roller coasters and refused to go for a ride on the motorcycle my husband picked up. He worried about anyone on them. When asked to go ride he would say 'I don't want to die'. I tip toe around this one as I am not sure how to deal with it. I was quite pissed when my husband took him {@ 12} to see his uncle at the morgue. After I had explicitly told him not to.
He doesn't care too much how his food is prepared BUT funny that you mention it because we took him to eat at Olvera St. and he saw the 'B' {or maybe a 'C'} and asked what it meant. We told him. He was like 'And you brought me here to eat???? We laughed and told him it was okay.
LOL Alex, his vocabulary, yes, he does need to pick it up. He is reading a lot more these days and I think that will help.
A big thing that occurred to me. Growing up, I did have a lot of faith, deep love for Jesus and the church. What I have seen happening as time goes on, other issues coming into play. Like, dinosaurs, fossils, the age of the earth. I embrace all of those facts. Unfortunately, some people say you can't have both. What? Why not?
We have fossils along our walkway {we've collected them out where they'd prepared land for building and some other places}. My father in law came up and was looking at them. My husband was so proud of his finds. His picked one up and said 'These are fake'. We were like no way. I forget but he said carbon dating is a lie and that the scientists just want to discredit the bible. Why?
ugh.
Again, thanks all of you for your input!!! I wish we could bring this curmudgeon of mine to have coffee with all of you. He could very much benefit.
And, me? I could benefit from some of that tequila!!!