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Originally Posted by scaeagles
AMEN! This is a world where some people are better at some things than others. Expecting others to be restricted in order to help the "self esteem" of those less gifted in a certain area helps no one. Those with the ability are held back, and those who simply aren't as good are made to think they are.
Well, a lot of times, they aren't. They can try harder, certainly, and perhaps acheive in that area. But no one should be made to feel as if they are good at something when they are not, or at least not as good as others.
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WOW! How many of my buttons can you push in one short post??
Fist off: Competition. My goal, and the goal of at least some other parents is to give our kids a well rounded upbringing. Try this, try that, see what sticks, some baseball, some soccer, chess club, etc... But there is a problem with that. In our area, we have baseball teams of 9 year olds that have a professional coach, A 15 Year old down the street plays professional soccer, a 12 Year old who is a nationally ranked fencer, a world class diver age 10, a kid that won (or placed second I forget) in the national chess federation youth championships and a violin soloist that performs with the National Symphony Orchestra. No matter what sport or endeavor your kid picks around here you always run across that small segment of the population that does NOTHING but that. Year in Year out, everyday. Soccer, Tennis, Chess, baseball, take your pick. The "average" kid gets stomped no matter what they try. Want to try baseball? Better be able to hit a 50mph fastball pitched by a 10 year old. It can be very frustrating for the kids.
Next up: Confidence. With my kids, right from the start I've heard about how we need to "build confidence" in our kids. Teachers would regularly rig events so that everyone won in order to build confidence. What a bunch of bunk. Confidence comes naturally from proficiency. Without proficiency, confidence is a house of cards just waiting for a stiff breeze. I'll never forget the look on my 3 Years old face when she asked me (eyes beaming!) how proud I was of a clay lump she had painted and I said, "I don't really like it". I knew she had not tried at all and it was no where near what she was capable of. I think it was a hard but important lesson for her (I know it was tuff on me..). However now when I tell her "good job" she knows it means something.