Quote:
Originally Posted by Cadaverous Pallor
This is an interesting point, since I do get annoyed at GD for not helping, though I don't want to constantly tell him what to do. He is clear that he doesn't feel as I do about organization.
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Well on the topic of nagging, I've found a couple things that tend to work. For things that must be done and nobody wants to do, we've predefined areas of responsibility which creates an awareness that nagging when we fail to meet those responsibilities is ok. It doesn't necessarily avoid momentary aggravation but it helps.
I take out the garbage, Lani puts a new bag in the can. I do laundry, she does dishes.
But my preferred level of neatness is the apartment is way above hers so I accept that means most cleaning falls to me and she accepts that me cleaning means I'm going to just dump all her random stuff onto her side of the bed. When it gets too deep (and she can tolerate a lot) then she gets to clean that area).
The other tool is a bit of a men are from Mars... communication issue.
Her speaking, me responding
"Do you want to clip the cat's nails sometime tonight?" - No.
"Help me clip the cat's nails at some point tonight?" - Sure, not a problem.
Me speaking, her responding
"Since you're not using them, could you get your craft stuff out of the living room?" - Maybe some day.
"It is really aggravating me having so much clutter in the living room and I'm not sure how they should be put away so could you take care of that this weekend?" - Sure thing.
So yes, to a degree it has come down to her learning to just tell me what she'd like me to do as opposed to trying to lead me to do what she wants. And for me, learning to explain more affective reasons for her to do what I want.