[Ghoulish Delight]

From what I understand it initially really did start as just meaning a sticky situation that gets worse the more you struggle, and in fact has roots in African folk lore. Somewhere along the line it took on the racist connotation. And therein lies the trickiness.

I mean, is it racist if I look at a small mammal with a black mask and rings on its tail and say, "Look, a coon!"? Is it homophobic to pull out a box of cigarettes and offer you a fag? Am I offending Chinese people if I talk about a chink in someone's armor?

I honestly don't know how commonly used tar baby has ever been, in either of its forms. At this point, you're probably pretty smart to avoid using it no matter what the real history is, clearly it's evolved to the point where using it is, well, a sticky trap that will just get you stuck and get worse as you struggle to get out of it.