[BarTopDancer]

I've been thinking about this a lot as there seem to be more and more on the street corners near my office. There is one older man who stands out with a posterboard and his dog begging for money for his dogs insulin that he can't afford on his social security. The sign has the name and number of the vet and my coworker has called, he's legit.

There was a man standing in the Lowe's parking lot, right in front of a McDonalds. I always told myself if he was there when I came out of the gym I'd buy him lunch, but he never was or he was but I didn't have $5 to my name at that moment.

On Friday I was taking Harbor to Disneyland and passed a man that has stayed with me. I thought "If I had something smaller than this $20 I'd give them something, but I need the $20". I "needed" the $20 to go to the bar. At Disneyland.

I did give money to someone standing on the offramp of the 405 and Irvine Center Drive. I actually got to the Target parking lot, turned around, drove back and gave him the $20 from my wallet. Maybe it was because he was around my age and just looked so defeated that I just knew he needed that more than I did. I've also given a couple bucks to a several people with signs "why lie, I want weed and beer".

I think surviving unemployment only because I had the help of my parents and some very generous friends really opened my eyes to what I "need" my spending money for. I can't give to everyone but damn, do I really "need" those two margaritas while someone is standing in the cold begging? Maybe they'll buy food or maybe they'll score some drugs. I think these days more people would buy food rather than drugs or booze.