[Betty]

One of my largest regrets in life is not valuing the relationship with my grandfather when I was high school. We were very close when I was younger. I spent summers on their ranch. I was also close with my grandmother who died when a few years before... before he sent me a letter that I kept and forgot about. I found it again as an adult and it broke my heart when he wrote to me how lonely he was. I was so self absorbed that I couldn't see beyond my own happiness. I did not visit with my grandma enough when she was ready to die. I saw her in the hospital and she wasn't like my grandma anymore. Her red hair wasn't.

I now fear I'm going to suffer the same fate. Die alone. And lonely. I say this knowing full well I am married with a family and not alone. I don't dwell on this or anything - but maybe feel it's my fate because I didn't do better.

I have one remaining Grandma and we get together with mom and lunch a few times a month. She doesn't remember much, including that we've just had lunch, but I hope it makes her happy anyway.

Mentioned in another thread, my husband's grandma recently passed. I haven't been to a funeral like hers before - although from what I've heard from others, it's very much in line with funerals they've been to. It was open casket, with a separate service at the graveside. Then they lowered her into the ground and dumped dirt with a shovel symbolically. Then a dump truck came and filled up the hole. Seeing the roots sticking out down inside the hole made an impression in my mind.

I've never been to an open casket funeral before. It was... more upsetting than I was prepared for. We found out only moments before walking in as my mother in law warned my husband, knowing it would be a surprise.

My side of the family is more of a cremation type and buried at sea, or as my Mom recently told me, wanting to be scattered in the desert.