[flippyshark]

Prometheus was something really gorgeous to look at. Truly stunning. It left me pretty cold otherwise. I only found one character at all engaging, that being the android played by Michael Fassbender. (Not a spoiler. He's identified as such right up front) He gives an appealing performance, in spite of a confused screenplay that left me unsure how I was supposed to react to his character.

Spoiler:

Was he evil? Just following orders? Following his own agenda or someone else's? I have no idea!

The movie wanted me to swallow a pretty enormous faith pill. I would have been more amenable if the token skeptic hadn't been a smug, dismissive asshole, who early on gets a single line of dialogue to express what is really a very reasonable doubt.

Spoiler:

Honestly, why would our creators go to such lengths to make it look like Darwinian evolution really happened?! Also, once the protagonist's pet theory turns out to be undeniably true, (and before all the nasty stuff starts happening) nobody acts jazzed about it. Only one guy mentions that their discovery is the most significant in the history of science, and he sounds kind of annoyed by the fact.

So, sense of discovery and wonder FAIL.

Also, the movie's twin missions of being speculative, mystical sci-fi, and also a graphic prequel to an established horror series sit very awkwardly together.

Noomi Rapace is really put through the emotional wringer here, and she's up to the challenge, but I was so disconnected from her story, her valiant acting efforts were in vain.

Spoiler:

Also, is there a less believable recovery from trauma in the history of cinema? "A machine just sliced me open, pulled out an enormous squid fetus, and stapled my midsection back together, but I'm good to go, really."

Charlize Theron's character could be edited out of this movie without making a single bit of difference. A one-note bore.

All that said, I'll watch this again when it hits Blu-ray. It really is stunning to look at, with some memorable icky bits.