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Originally Posted by tracilicious
Either way, a person should have the moral integrity to be honest with him or herself prior to commiting. If one doesn't want a monogamous relationship, than one shouldn't commit. I think the society excuse is sometimes too heavily relied upon.
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I think most people enter into a monogamous commitment with the full intention of remaning so, but time and life circumstances often intervene to make that more difficult than anyone ever realized in the first blooms of love. In other words, I don't think people enter these relationships dishonestly or without integrity, rather they do it perhaps with a bit of ignorance - how well do you really know yourself at 18?
So it doesn't surpise me the people will sometimes stray, and I understand the desire not to hurt spouse and family, by fessing up to something that ultimately may have little meaning to you in your life - which is one scenario.
From an objective stand point it seems clear that being honest is best (especially now since such indiscretions can be more easily detected and harder to cover up) but how it all happens depends on your relationship with your partner(s), whether you can talk through the difficult moments and support one another when times are bad.