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Originally Posted by ubergeek42
If it works for you, great. if it doesn't, change. but be true to yourself.
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Bingo, well said.
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know that committed relationships are hard and it takes a lot of maturity to successfully pull it off.
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Absolutely. No matter what kind of relationship it is. Monogomous or otherwise, if people aren't communicating and being truthful with each other, disaster is assured.
Which brings us back to my original point, that being that as long as heterosexual monogomous relationships are the only variety accepted by societal structures, people who have no business being in that kind of relationship will continue to be unable to communicate their needs and desires truthfully to themselves or others, which will continue to result in more infidelity than would otherwise.
I stress again, of course, that I don't purport that this narrow analysis accounts for all problems. Just because someone cheats doesn't mean, "Hey, what the really need is a non-monogomous relationship!" And certainly not everyone who has entered an open non-monogomus relationship did so because they had issues or would have been driven to cheat otherwise. And just as I don't feel that tolerance of homosexuality won't lead to an apocalypse of homosexual behavior in our society and the downfall of the institution of marriage, I wouldn't expect tolerance of non-traditional relationships to render the traditional relationship obsolete either. It would simply allow the small percentage of people for whom that's a viable option to be true to themselves, as ubergeek put it.
Edit: And I might add that the need for truthfullness extends beyond the ability to discuss alternative lifestyles, I was just keying off of €'s question, "But is it even possible to get to a level of acceptance for certain sexual practices – such as extra-marital sex." Honestly, that probably accounts for a very tiny amount of trust problems in marriages. It's equally important to engender honesty regarding ALL things sexual/realational. Whatever it is, if there's a problem in a relationship but you feel like you're not "supposed" to talk about it, that ain't good.