How to make a Jennie 
Ingredients:
5 parts jealousy
5 parts ambition
5 parts empathy 
Method:
Add to a cocktail shaker and mix vigorously. Top it off with a sprinkle of lustfulness and enjoy! 
How can one be just as jealous and ambitious as empathic?  Seeing how I've done nothing with my summer it's obvious the ambitious part is out...
How to make a Cadaverous Pallor 
Ingredients:
1 part jealousy
5 parts ambition
1 part beauty 
Method:
Blend at a low speed for 30 seconds. Add a little cocktail umbrella and a dash of sadness 
Once again, what's with the ambitiousness??  I don't even have a real college degree 
  