[AllyOops!]

Much love & hugs, Mousey Girl. My heart completely goes out to you.

I foung out last Monday that my baby, my sweet precious girl, my little daughter (my little snowball that's pictured in my avatar) has cancer. When she began limping, I rushed her to the Pet Hospital and they found out she had a little slipped disc in her back. Her Doctor thought her front left leg limp was tendinitis from applying pressure to her front and trying to navigate stairs.

However, he was determined to pinpoint the problem and took neck and shoulder X-Rays. Her Doctor and Radiologist informed me on Monday she has a very fast spreading and agressive cancer. For the first time in years, I broke down and cried. For days. In fact I didn't get out of bed except to brush my teeth and wash my face. Golly, I couldn't even brush my hair.

I'm determined to save my Angel. She's the reason I breathe. My best friend.

Her Oncologist and Doctor gave me the news yesterday that THEY can save her life. At first they thought they could remove her tumor and give her bone replacement surgery, but they now know that they have to amputate her front left leg. Her hips and back are strong enough that they know she'll recover quickly. And, the best part? Chemo & radiation on a canine is far different from that on a human being. No nausea, mood changes or hair loss. Chemo on a canine has little to no effect on their mental and physical being.

The WORST part was knowing that if she was going to suffer..I'd have to make the ultimate decision. And it would KILL me. GUT me. I'll do ANYTHING to save my sweet baby's life.

Because her spirit is so intact. She still wags her tail wildly. Raises her ears up. Has the brightest eyes. And begs for snacks constantly.

So, I spoil my peapod. I hand feed her her dinners (I trained her to bite off of a fork and spoon like a person). Have her carried upstairs. Snuggle with her constantly. And gave up my social life. Anybody who knows me knows I'm kinda a..um, party girl. No more. My place is at home. And it's kind of funny how life surprises you. I was Miss Single Party Girl. The other night, her Daddy took her for the weekend. I went out and felt...alone. I thought of her constantly and couldn't wait to be reunited. I realized what I fear most I long for most. The truth is, I want to stay home, be her mommy, care for her and be domestic. Crazy how life surprises you. I never knew my calling in life was to settle down.

Only a few years ago, my life was complete. It was everything I had ever wanted. I lived in a fairy tale home with the man I loved and was going to marry, with my two beautiful black labs and my little fishie. I'd bake cookies in my kitchen while gossiping with my best friend on the phone.

I lost everybody. The man I was supposed to marry, my best friend, one of my Labs & my fishie. They all passed away. My little pumpkin pie is still alive and has stuck with me through all of the heartache and pain. If I lose her..I'll have nothing left. How am I supposed to live without my best friend?

Please pray for her. Next Sunday, she'll lose her leg. Instead of being sad, I know I should be happy. Because she'll finally be comfortable. Ooh! she's entering the room right now! My little snow pea. Little snow plow. Little snow crab. Yes, I'm nickname happy.

I cannot believe I shared so much. That kinda isn't like me at all.