[Prudence]

Oh man, that sucks more than words can possibly express.

I'm about to suggest things to do. I don't know you well enough to know if that's a good thing or a bad thing. If it's a bad thing, just know that I'm thinking of you and stop reading now.

***

It's very good of you to make yourself available for questions. It's true that you probably don't have answers, but my experience is that the family will nonetheless have questions. If nothing else, you can help reassure them that there were no signs that they missed, as it's possible they may feel guilty.

How much did you interact with the daughter? Death -- whether suicide or natural -- changes more than just interactions with the deceased. If she's accustomed to seeing you two frequently, she may feel like she's "lost" you, too. I don't know what the family would wantand I don't want to give you instructions on what to do, but maybe she would like a last visit? Get something of her dad's? I don't know.

Another thing you might consider is writing down something about her dad for her to have, or for her mom to keep for her -- particular about how much he loved her. There may not be anyone else to say nice things about him and his love for his daughter -- and even if there is, more can't hurt. She's just old enough to have that irrational feeling that she's somehow to blame. And it might help to have something from two people who aren't relatives and who aren't "obligated" to say nice things to her to tell her that she WAS loved and adored, and that everyone knows it.

Oh, and I would call now. Or leave a note. Or something. They don't have to talk to you now, but if there are services or something maybe they would want something out of his room or some of his effects? Maybe you could make yourself available now and they will contact you when they're ready? There's nothing inappropriate about "Hello, we just wanted to let you know that we're available if you want to talk."

Damn. I'm totally telling you what to do and that's so not my job. I'm sorry. I can't help it.

It's crappy that this happened at all and it's crappy that you and Matthew have to be involved.