Quote:
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Originally Posted by Alex Stroup
To refrain from judging is to have a life with no boundaries.
Is it wrong to stop hanging out with Bob because he's cheating on his wife? That's judgement. Is it wrong to not let your son spend the night at Greg's house, because Greg sells pot at school? That's judgement.
The only right way, in my opinion, to judge private behavior in others is through personal behavior of your own. There are two ways to judge public behavior in others: either you behave as you would with private behavior or society collectively decide on civil punishment (as we do with murder, rape, burglary, etc.). My personal libertarian view is that we've expanded societal civil punishment beyond its useful boundaries not just in the public sphere but into the private sphere where it doesn't belong at all.
But I have a strong moral ethic (just not a standard one) and I am constantly judging others by it and choose not to associate with those who fall too far from it. To not judge is to say that there is no such thing as right and wrong. I just say that not everything is a matter of right and wrong.
I don't know what the marital structure is in the OP, so I have no idea whether I think it falls into the category of something I would judge. But probably not.
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You're right- perhaps I should have said "refrain from articulating certain types of judgements", which is something I do all the time. I can't help but make judgements, but I can keep quiet about them if I think it is crass, rude, impolite, etc, to pronounce them. I won't let Tori listen to Britteny Spears, as I consider her an ignorant skank, but I told Tori it's because she is too young to hear her music. Same thing when I deem someone stupid- I try to give them the benefit of the doubt, and when I am proved right I simply maneuver away from them so I don't have to be irritated all the time- I don't tell them that I think they are stupid, though.