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Ally, honey, you've got to let go and let your babies live in peace in doggie heaven. You seem to be trying to hang on to what you've lost and, as a result, it is torturing your sleep and conscious. It's not a bad thing to let go. It's certainly a leap of faith, but it is better for everyone if you grieve and move on. There are plenty of things still in this world that need your love.
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