Like, Happy birthday, man......
Here's your Free Will horoscope:
"
Before going to sleep last night, I studied your astrological aspects for the coming week and asked my dreams to send me clues about what information you needed in your horoscope. I awoke at dawn with the answer. In my dream, I was at a mass birthday party for hundreds of Aquarians. Everyone was drinking tea made from an herb called Job's tears as the goth band Lake of Tears performed. Then I gave a poetic speech on how crying can achieve the same effect as orgasm. As the dream climaxed, I led everyone outside into the drizzly night. We looked skyward and let the raindrops drench our faces as we did a mass singalong of "Cry Me a River," each of us lost in a private ritual of relief and release. "