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For a wedding, it depends on how they're doing things overall and how close you are.
For my first wedding, we only invited a very select group of people (for cost reasons) but still told everybody. Of course, we explained it was a small wedding and if cost were no object then of course they'd be welcome.
For my second wedding (Lani), we only invited two people and didn't tell anybody else until aftrewards.
So if you're pretty close and it turns out they invited 450 people to the wedding I can see being a bit bothered, but otherwise it is there wedding. Would you prefer they neither invited nor told you?
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