Women's ice skating commentators:
Male Announcer: "Well, she hasn't started skating yet but, boy, does she stink."
Female Announcer: "Yes, you're right. I can smell her stinkiness from here."
Male Announcer: "Her short program sucked, too. We can't expect much from her tonight, I'm afraid."
Female Announcer: "Nope."
Male Announcer: "She's starting off her routine strong, but she's just not into it."
Female Announcer: "Boy, her routine is so bad it's giving me hives."
Male Announcer: "No passion, no drive. Gee, I think she should go out into the parking lot and shoot herself in the face."
Female Announcer: "That's what I'd do if I were her."
Male Announcer: "My biggest complaint is about her shoelaces. They're sticking out, she should tuck them in. That's really ruining it for me."
Female Announcer: "I stopped paying attention, she's horrid. I wish the ice were too thin to skate on."
Male Announcer: "What a disappointment."
Female Announcer: "Completely."
Male Announcer: "I hate to be so negative, but she deserves it."
Female Announcer: "If I see her off the ice later, I'm going to tell her off."
Male Announcer: "Well, her routine finally ended and not a moment too soon."
Female Announcer: "Her score puts her in first place."
Male Announcer: "And I, for one, think that's wonderful."
These judges are brutal!