I was going to quote people but it got confusing... So here's a mishmash of the innerworkings of a cricket...
I don't know if there is a god/God/G*d etc. I don't pray, either. I often have these inner conversations with my consciene, but I truthfully can't say that I pray. Both are a huge sore spot with the parents, but I'd rather be honest with them. I've never see going back to church as an option. I can't see condoning a group that seeks to make me disappear. One of the big things I have been struggling with is this: people say they are Catholic and support gay marriage but then turn around and donate money to the church that in turn funds anti-gay causes all around the country. ie. 1998's anti-gay marriage initiative in Hawai'i was funded by the Catholic Church and the Mormon Church. That is a fact. Where did this money come from? Well, some of it came from the faithful with fat checkbooks who say they love me and want me to get married to Ralphie. Huh??
I'd start my own religion if I actually like leading. I don't always. This comes in conflict with the great people who tell me that Ralphie and I are great role models. I don't want to be a role model, either. I'm just me. We're just us. My personal rules about me not following blindly go for others as well... Don't follow, find your own path.
If the Church and other religions did not pursuade law so effectively, I wouldn't have a problem with them at all. I'd say, 'Well that's their deal and they own it. As long as they are preaching to their own, it doesn't affect me.' But it does and it shouldn't.
Now, let me clarify something. I don't attribute my current conflict and grief to the lack of participation in a religion. Believe it or not, I was worse off when I did participate in Sunday masses etc. As much as I miss Midnight Mass, I can play a few Christmas CDs with choral arangements and quench my missing it...
I appreciate everyone's kind words a great deal.
