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Originally Posted by tracilicious
But you can't really ever teach someone to let go of anger. You can only help them in a small way. The girls anger is her own. She will probably feel it at least from time to time for the rest of her life.
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This is an excellent point.
I'm going to tell a story, names omitted, because I think it relates.
Someone very dear to me was a victim of incest between the ages of three and eight. I have watched her walk a path of forgiveness for many years, but this does not mean that she has completely let go of her feelings. She was still kind to her perpetrator in his final hours. But I've also seen her occasional bursts of rage (sometimes misdirected at those around her) and her long-term anger applied to self-loathing in the form of slow suicide in one way or another. No matter how many times she chooses to forgive, she's still haunted by what happened.
I absolutely believe that the little girl-- and the woman I know-- can forgive. But it's going to have to happen every day for the rest of their lives. And some days, they may not. Such is the process of forgiveness.
In a spiritual sense, I liken it to the sort of thing I've seen done by certain Christian sects, where they make people stand up in front of everyone and ask them if they "accept Jesus Christ as your lord and savior?" That's a decision man is not capable of making just once. That's an every day decision.