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I need a new printer.
Mine's busted. And all I did was hook it up to the new computer. It's like the computer sensed its presence and said "Fool! You can't keep up with me! You're not even shiny! The only shininess you have is on the HP logo, and that's teeny!" and then the printer felt sad and died.
It tried to make itself feel better by spitting out paper, but I don't think it helped much.
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