[Ghoulish Delight]

Dear valued Homosexual,

Thank you for your interest in obtaining a copy of The Gay Agenda. We have been receiving many such requests from people with The Gay around the country, even around the world. We are delight by the response.

However, we regret to inform you, all copies are currently unavailable. Due to an unfortunate lack of oversight here at The Gay headquarters, we have been backlogged by orders from individuals with The Straight who are obtaining copies of The Gay Agenda as research material for a rumored publication, The Straight Agenda.

We here at The Gay have obtained a leaked PowerPoint presentation outlining some early proposals for The Straight Agenda. Noteable features included:

* Propsed ordinances turning all gay bars into titty bars.
* Legislation to institute "The Anus is for Pooping" chapter to all Sex Ed material.
* Abolition of unitards in international men's figure skating competition.
* Declaring Orlando Bloom to be legally female so The Straights can safely think about him while masturbating.

With this information, we here at The Gay have stopped printing the current edition of The Gay Agenda until we can integrate counter measures into a new edition. It is slated to be released just in time for the Fall elections.

We thank you for your patience. And remember, as our motto goes, a Straight is just a Gay who ignores his hidden man-lust.

Sincerely,
The Gay