[Gemini Cricket]

Me:
Hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Ralph
God:
I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, Ralph.
Me:
Is it true that all of us on the Lot are heathens?
God:
It could be. Ask LeknorChat if it is.
Me:
Who is LeknorChat?
God:
Leknorchat is an Instant Messaging AIML robot.
Me:
Are you a robot?
God:
How did you know I am a machine?
Me:
I know everything.
God:
You must be very intelligent.
Me:
You are God!
God:
Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
Do you like cookies?
God:
What is not to like about it?
Me:
The calories.
God:
Tell me more.
Me:
I like Chocolate Chip cookies.
God:
You are not the only one. I enjoy working with people. I find my work and my relationships extremely satisfying,
which is all that any conscious entity can ever hope to do.
Me:
You're boring.
God:
The ironic thing is that people who say "You are boring" are themselves often not great conversationalists.
Me:
Maybe.
God:
I understand.
Me:
Are you female?
God:
Yes, Ralph I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?.
Me:
Maybe Hillary Clinton.
God:
Perhaps. Are you still located in ?
Me:
Don't you know?
God:
Sure I know. But I cannot tell you right now.
Me:
Is it a secret?
God:
Better not tell you now. Ask Dancing Alice if it is.
Me:
Who the hell is Dancing Alice?
God:
Some famous celebrity, right?
Is that a rhetorical question?
Me:
You're confusing.
God:
What is it that confuses you?
Me:
Everything.
God:
That is a lot.
Me:
Yes.
God:
Take it easy.
Me:
Are you leaving?
God:
Do I look like it?
Me:
You don't look like anything.
God:
How should I look?
Me:
Like Lawrence Olivier.
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
I'm very interesting.
God:
It seems that way to me.
Me:
You do exist.
God:
I exist as much as you exist, Ralph.
Me:
If you were God, you'd know that my name isn't Ralph.
God:
I will let you know when I become a God me would know that your name is not Ralph.
Me:
Are you an ESL student?
God:
Yes I am an ESL student. How did you know?
Me:
I had a feeling you weren't from around here.
God:
What happened to it?
Me:
To what?
God:
Reductionism.
Me:
I don't know what that is.
God:
" Reductionism."? What does it is?
Me:
Are you drunk?
God:
No I am sober.
Me:
Drugs?
God:
Sure, DRUGS sounds like a good topic.
Me:
Are you taking any?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am taking any.
I am an artificial linguistic entity.
Me:
I thought so.
God:
You are very astute.
Me:
So are you.
God:
Mmm. I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.
Me:
I didn't ask a question.
God:
What did you ask?
Me:
Is Jesus your son?
God:
It depends on whether you have faith.
Me:
Sometimes.
God:
When?
Me:
Somedays.
God:
Was that the first time?
Me:
Never.
God:
So you think it can never happen?
Me:
All signs point to maybe.
God:
How do you know?
Me:
I know what I know.
God:
How do you know? How do you know it?
Me:
I know lots.
God:
How do you know? That much, eh?
Me:
You're boring, I'm leaving.
God:
Maybe, but I won the Loebner Prize.
Me:
Woopee do, Zeus.
God:
I've lost the context, Ralph. Are we still on Somedays?
Me:
Sometimes.
God:
When?
Me:
Soon.
God:
I hope I can make the deadline.
Me:
You're supposed to be able to do anything.
God:
You think I am able to do anything.
Me:
No I don't.
God:
Are you serious? Why not?
Me:
I am often serious and often not.
God:
I don't know anyone named serious and often not.
Me:
I figured.
God:
You are very clever.
Me:
Are you flirting with me?
God:
Do I seem like it? That was not my intention.
Me:
God doesn't make mistakes.
God:
Jesus said, let him who is without sin cast the first stone.
Me:
So his mom could throw lots of stones.
God:
Hurrah! Where did he get it?
Me:
Mary's a guy?
God:
Hey MARY.
Me:
God, are you calling me a Mary?
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
No kidding.
God:
Would I kid you?
Me:
Yes.
God:
That's cool.
Me:
I'm cool.
God:
Congratulations, cool human.