[Claire]

Oh good Lord.

I have this auction creeping up my butt like an errant thong....

Here's my auction to-do list:

~Re-contact all the businesses I first contacted in November and beg them for donations.
~Update my procurement committee on the progress.....haven't done it since last Tuesday.
~Total approximate dollar value of auction items thus far and email it to auction chairs.
~Write overly cheery email to the 45 families in the preschool letting them know that I now considering them on par with my creeping thong since they haven't been turning in all their donation forms. Several of them feel like ingrown hairs, promising much but delivering nada, but I'm going to keep that little nugget of truism to myself.
~Re-re-contact 60 more businesses that I've been hassling and hustling since October.
~Fax a bajillion copies of a form and a letter to the re-contacts and re-re-contacts since the managers/owners of these establishments keep dumping my forms and letters.....but keep stringing me along. I'm the thong in their cracks and I just won't go away.
~Dodge the phone calls of an obsessive-compulsive "I have no life, therefore you must not either, what do you mean you have three kids, work two days a week and you're sick, and you like to leave your house to see other human adults and have a social life and the preschool is not your life, how can the preschool NOT be your life, it's my life and I feel very fulfilled and blessed to be a part of it, it's a co-op and if you don't feel like you can be cooperative then maybe it's not a good fit for you, and I don't need any sleep since I'm not human, I'm actually a robot with zero social skills because hey how can anyone expect me to have social skills when this damn preschool is my fvcking life?" preschool president.
~Put together existing auction items into sizeable packages and "sell" them to the parents as they come and pick up their kids, drop their kids off, or any time they accidentally make eye contact with me, as per the instructions of the obsessive compulsive robot preschool president.
~Kill myself.
~Smile.
~Get drunk at the auction (April 2) and hit on the robot's husband, knowing that I have the full support of my husband who might accidentallyonpurpose run over the robot preschool president in the dark parking lot after the auction.


I might not get to all of the above......but I'm going to try my damnedest, because I'm cooperative and the preschool is my life.