[Cadaverous Pallor]

I knew I'd grow up.
I never promised I wouldn't.
I may have tried to lag behind
playing with old toys, reading old books
living in past moments and glories
but I knew it would happen.

Grown ups were always serious.
Always tired.
I liked them when they were playful
silly and active
but they usually weren't.

It's hard to see beyond your energy.
When you can't sit still, even to eat,
it's hard contemplating that mom feels tired
or that your wriggling annoys her.

Watching children fascinates me.
I was once like them.
At one time I would trip over my own feet
(for lack of attention)
fall on my face
and bounce back up.
I say "are you ok" to these kids
and they give me that look
and I feel old.

It's easy to play grandma's role
and be the fun one
but when I have errands to run and kids to pick up
will I have the energy to be playful?
Will I remember to stop and peekaboo?
And be a storytelling WendyLady?
I aspire to tickle and giggle and tease
and create and teach and wonder.
It's all on my list of things To Do
once I get around to it.