[tracilicious]

It's too hot to be alive. I walked out my door today and my arm hair went up in flames. My arms are completely bald thanks to the blistering sun. This brownish color to my skin isn't a tan, I actually got cooked a bit. My Google weather says it's 104, but I'm pretty sure that's Celsius, as it was at least 175 Fahrenheit earlier today.

So I'm heading to arctic climes. My cold weather gear will keep me comfy and I can make snow angels all day long. I can live in one of those domes like the scientists do. If I get hungry I'll just roast up a penguin, or maybe a seal if I have a lot of people over for a dinner party.

It's been nice knowing you guys, perhaps I'll visit for a bit of warm weather in the winter. Who knows, maybe the south pole has satellite internet. If it does, I'll be sure to post pics of myself staying nice and cool while you guys are swallowed alive by this furnace that some call "summer."