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1. OK, Mr. McGibbons. I understand you've grown tired of your homocidal tendencies, and you are looking for psychological guidance. You say you were drawn to violence because of a film you saw many times. Did "The Last Unicorn" disturb you more on DVD or in the cinema?
I would say DVD for sure.
2. And your victims... is it true that you attatched them together when you were done with them?
If you took the Peanut Butter and stuck it between them, I would say yes.
3. Well. OK then. What did you do with the peanut-butter-covered tangle of bodies?
I found it rather round and I thru it in the fridge.
4. Thru? What kind of word is "thru"? Didn't you take English 101?
Sad to say, I've had it twice.
5. Twice? And you still use the word "thru"? Wait, what are you waving at me?
The 3rd finger.
6. Isn't that rather inappropriate behavior for a medical consultation?
It always seems to rise up at the wrong time, from what I heard.
7. Very well. Let's move on to your desired treatment. When it comes to how much you're hoping to have lobotomized, how much of your frontal lobe would you like to have removed?
I would say 4inches longer is better.
8. Four inches it is.
Asain.
9. I don't think that's a word, but OK. Is there anything we can give you to bring you some peace of mind in the meanwhile?
Lolly Pops and something to numb the pain.
10. I'll see what I can do. Did this consultation fulfill your expectations? ... aaaaugh! Aaaaaugh! AAAAAAAAAAUUUUGH! [Slumps face-forward onto her desk.]
It was like a dead cow.
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