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Dear Wendy,
Wtf were you thinking? How long did you think I was going to last with all you savages shedding and spilling and puking up furballs all over the place? I used to be a lovely shade of lightest sage- now I look like a Dalmatian with the flu. Piss off- I'm moving in with MBC.
Sincerely,
Your ex-carpet.
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