(Deep breath.....)
Okay, you asked.
Mother: is psycho- seriously. She has been a functioning prescription pill addict and hypochondriac my entire life, and only recently was diagnosed with about 15 mental disorders. With HEPA and such, there is nothing we can about anything- she continues on her merry way stoned out of her gourd and refusing to take the appropriate meds for her conditions. It's a frikken miracle she's made it to 67.
Brothers: Four of them, all weird in their own special way. Actually, my #2 bro is cool now, but he had his moments while we were growing up. All the others are alcoholics and pervs.
My three sisters, however, are wonderful.
Dad: Left us kids with our psycho mom and went off to form the perfect little family unit of three, focusing all his daddy skills on my little sister and completely neglecting all the other kids. My little sis is cool, though- it's not her fault.
Growing up, we had total freedom to do whatever the hell we wanted, with no direction or supervision. I was out running the streets with my sibs at two in the morning when I was seven years old. Mom used to brag about what great friends she was with her kids. Stories of our unsupervised deeds are legend in this town. For years I was afraid to tell anyone my last name, as my brothers had developed quite a rep with law enforcement. One made it into the newspapers with alarming frequency.
In-Laws: Not enough time or space to even begin with them.....