[Tramspotter]

~Just in the bathroom with the aspirin~
I’m not cyanotic baby just cool pale and diaphoretic. I got nitro in my pocket…. yeah it will sooth your ischemia (baby that’s acute angina!) It will probably give you a headache but that’s ok I got my priapism all covered in Acetylsalicylic acid.

~From the heart~
Its too much for most to handle when they experience a massive pulmonary embolus. But
I think that you might have tachypnea (increased tidal volume) and be able to take it in “stridor”

~funk & airway adjuncts~
I’ll maintain your airway and do some oro-pharyngeal action (unless you gag on it) but that’s ok baby I’ll just lube up a nasal-pharyngeal or have a more qualified responder give full on visualized intubation but you might not be able to take it all without me helping by using the sellick maneuver that’s right sweet thing: direct cricoid pressure. (if you can handle it)

~Placenta abruptia or I got a package fo ya~
I’m the kinda guy who will encourage suckling vigorously massage your fundus till you shunt off and I always have a clean towel waiting for after. (it’s bound to get messy)

~Just taking spine precautions mam~
If you like things rough I can always whip out a C-collar and bust out the long board sandwich and get some soft restraints. I'll take you in nice and slow code 2. But I'm gonna need a 5150. Can always have the man ride along if you don't behave. Who don't like a double team now and again anyhow? Hell your ridding ta the nut house anyhow.


~Pounding one out~
Things very well might get so intense while groaning in semi fowlers and working that ischium that your vasovagal response might cause you to syncope (that’s right baby) you might just pass right out!


~Down a half a liter~
Your gonna need to check me for signs of hypervolimic shock after I’m done sweet thing cause the fluid loss will definitely be substantial.