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Originally Posted by Alex Stroup
I suppose it isn't fair, but it isn't uncommon for me to say something like "stop talking like a woman, just tell me what you want."
This also comes up when she wants to do something but rather than saying what she wants to do she asks me what I want to do in the hopes that I'll say what she wants to do. Because she doesn't want to sound bossy.
Just sound bossy. 95% of the time I'll be fine with it and the other 5% we'll talk about it and come to an amicable agreement.
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The sounding bossy thing is really hard to get over though. Especially when I have a really strong personality and Michael has a very easy going personality. I feel obligated to at least phrase my sentences in a way that gives him some sort of an out.
I'm sure that's no consolation to him in the exact situation you described above. Here's a typical conversation:
Me: What do you want to watch tonight?
Him: I don't care, anything you want to watch is fine.
Me: I could watch either Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, or Star Wars.
Him: Ok, lets watch Harry Potter.
Me (in a disappointed tone): oh, ok.
Him: Well what did you want to watch?
Me: Star Wars
Him: If you knew what movie you wanted to watch why didn't you just say that in the beginning?!!!
Me: I wanted you to be happy too.
Him: I said I didn't care! Just tell me what you want to watch! I. don't. care.
I suppose the puzzling part to me is that he really doesn't care. When I say I don't care, what I usually mean is tell me what you want to watch and then I'll tell you what I want to watch and hopefully you'll agree.
I don't know why word choice is so important. It drives me nuts when he comes up and asks my permission to buy something. What am I? Your mom? He does it because he generally has no clue how much money we have or where it all goes. Yet somehow, "Can I buy this book?" is remarkably different from, "Is there money in the budget for me to buy this book?" Even though, essentially, they are the same question.
Go figure.