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OK the Phantom review is freaking hilarious!!!!
Some nice quotes:
"Fade up: Old Gross Raoul wheels his geriatric self into the Opera House and buys a monkey with cymbals. We get it; you’re Liberace."
"The Phantom sings about how he will make Christine totally famous if she sleeps with him, and a million moviegoers realize suddenly that this movie is about 1) Stockholm Syndrome and 2) Webber’s life story."
"Christine steps out in bridal white and asks, hilariously, “Am I now to be prey to your lust for flesh?” The Phantom delivers a truly priceless facial expression here. It is the absolute physical embodiment of the phrase, “Well, duh.”"
I love it!
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And they say back then our universe
Was a coal black egg
Until the god inside
Burst out and from its shattered shell
He made what became the world we know
~ Bjork (Cosmogony)
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