"How Do You Do?" From my To Do List to You

[Eliza Hodgkins 1812]

Greetings and salutations. How do you do?

I’m EH1812’s To Do List! How nice to meet you!

This is what EH1812 has to do today at work:

1. Work. EH1812 has let work pile up on her desk because she is very, very bored at her job. However, she is very, very excited to have it confirmed that in a few months she shall be given her very own office. A small office, sure, but a room of her own, and the first office she’s ever had to herself. The first office she’ll ever have to decorate. There will be wall hangings. And, if the swap meet at the Rose Bowl is kind to her, lots of old office knickknacks (rolodexes from the 50’s, etc.) to decorate her desk and filing cabinets. EH1812 gets so excited about planning for this upcoming milestone in her life as secretarial career gal, that she begins to daydream, and daydreaming leads to slacking, and slacking leads to looking up pictures of



on the Internet, rather than doing her actual work, which is, as previously mentioned, literally piling up around her as her co-workers look on in confusion. “Audra, do you have a purchase order for….”

[Audra hastily closes Slacker computer screen] Yes, yes, I have it but I haven’t typed it yet, I’ve been so busy [not being busy at all].

Ah, but my own office! I’ll be so much BETTER in my own office!

Heh.

This is what EH1812 has to do today after work:

1. Reorganize and clean her bedroom. This is what EH1812 had to do on her to do list last weekend, the week before, the weekend before that, the weeks and weekends that proceeded that, all the way back prior to Christmas. EH1812 needs someone to remind her what a vacuum cleaner looks like it’s been so long since she’s used one.

2. Clean out laptop computer and ready it for a professional cleaning, since it’s never been swiped, is years old, freezes all the time, and takes 20 minutes to load.

3. Hang up laundry. Laundry is done but is now strewn all over cat-haired carpet as if not done.

4. Clean living room and do dishes. Much like vacuum cleaner, someone may need to explain to EH1812 what a broom looks like.

5. Install newly built bookshelf in bedroom and organize books that are currently all over living room and bedroom floors.

This is what EH1812 MUST NOT DO after work today:

1. Go online.

2. Read books instead of organize them.

3. Daydream about the real possibility of renting one of the garages in her building to transform into an art studio for ONLY $50.00 a month, instead of actually making artwork in the little mini-studio that’s set up in her living room already.

4. Sit in a chair and listen to music instead of listening to music while cleaning her apartment.

5. Decide that NOW is when she most needs to finish that short story she started months ago, as this is still procrastinating even if it’s also being productive. House really MUST get clean tonight. Cats are beginning to get restless, wondering if they’ve been moved into a Filth Pit rather than the lovely 2-bedroom they were promised.

6. Will not go to video store to rent a movie to watch “after cleaning” when knows perfectly well she will come home and immediately watch the movie, deciding that house cleaning can be put off for another day, week, month, what the hell, this year is already shot to hell anyway.

This is what EH1812 MUST NOT DO for the rest of the day at work:

1. Spend anymore time here. Doing this. And not doing her work. Recommencing work in 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3….do not hit refresh. Do not recheck messages. Do not sign on again for the rest of the afternoon..2….I mean it….1……SIGN OFF!

What are your To Do Lists.

Not that I'll be checking your answers until tomorrow.

Really.

I mean it.