As my world turns...DRAMA

[Nephythys]

Well, not my own drama. Davis drama.....

He wants to drop out. He wants to quit school, study and get his GED, work full time, get his car and start planning college.

I'm in a quandry.

He's not doing well- he is not dealing with pressure with any grace and he is miserable. His grades are good but he is so unhappy it almost seems to be making him sick. I can understand why he may want to drop this part of life and start getting on with things- he is not exactly a traditional kid.

Add to that the fact that I dropped out (ask me why- don't make any assumptions) and went to college for a while and I am doing ok- financially etc....and I have a hard time telling him that he can't do this. I can tell him I regret it, and that I missed doing things I wished I had done- but I doubt that will change his mind.

I have calls in to his counselor at school and his PO for advice and guidance. No decision has been made yet but it is what he wants to do. It's not like he is failing at school or socially- he is just really unhappy and eventually it will degrade his performance.

*sigh*

[Kevy Baby]

Originally Posted by Nephythys

Add to that the fact that I dropped out (ask me why- don't make any assumptions)...

Why?





Actually, it is irrelevant and I don't need to know - it was just hanging out there

[Snowflake]

So sorry to hear this and being inexperienced in parenting, I can offer no good advice. {{hugs}}

Hopefully his PO and school counselor will be able to offer some good advice/assistance.

[Alex]

How far along is he?

[Nephythys]

..in his senior year. He will be 18 in February.

[blueerica]

I keep trying to come up with the right way to put this, so I suppose I'll give you my background. I finished HS and went on to college only to stop because I wanted to work and was making some decent money - plus, I had some major family trauma going on at the time... really easy to stop focusing on school that way. I kept telling everyone that I would go back and finish my degree and a part of me meant it, but as the months and years went by it became increasingly difficult to 'restart' the process of finishing everything.

What woke me up to reality was my trip to Spain. On a whim, I decided to find out what it would take for me to move there - not that I was planning to, but simply just getting the info. I quickly discovered what a process it was to get a visa, etc, and that if I wanted to do anything overseas I would need to have a bachelor's degree and some quantifiable skills. I never felt so trapped in my life. Much the same for even cities outside of CA around the US - it's hard to move without something 'special' and frankly, as much as anyone might love me, I was far from special.

Feeling trapped, I looked into what classes it would take to finish school and decided to return for a bachelor's in Business Marketing. Hard. As. Hell. I didn't feel like I fit in with any of the young people I was going to class with. Everything felt more difficult and though I luckily had a strong support network of family and friends, I know that if I wasn't so fortunate, I'd have to do it all while holding down a full-time job and paying the bills. So yeah, I'm finishing this semester, but only after a helluva lot of busting my ass, and I'm lucky to have what I have - most people aren't that lucky.

So, I guess what I'm trying to say is that it's easier to do the HS/college thing now than it is later... before the job, the bills, the family, the BS comes onto the scene. Ask any person who's done it - I know we have more than a few on this board. I guess that's what I'm trying to get at - do it while it's easy. You might think it's easier to work a while and go back at your own leisure, but for most of us getting older has meant less leisure than what we had as teens.

If I could take a ship back into time, I would never have quit. Sure, I've learned a LOT along the way, and perhaps I've been exposed to different opportunities, but I have a feeling I'd be a close facsimile to the person I am today.

And damn it, it's easy to look back and say all of this, but I know it would have been next to impossible to convince the girl who quit school seven years ago.

[blueerica]

Oh, and yes - tell him to not be like some of the people in my class that did all the work in HS only to drop out in the last year or halfway through the last. They may have finished their GED, but few ever followed through on finding a better life for themselves. I'm sure they thought they were doing the right thing, but... as an observer it just felt like they were throwing all that hard work away.

Also, from your perspective - though things are fine now, were things ever difficult because of your circumstances, Nephy? I always think of my mom who dropped out in her senior year (she was on her way to becoming Valedictorian before meeting some guy), did some classes, and who has had many a 'hard time' that I wonder could have been prevented had she just went the extra step...

[DreadPirateRoberts]

I agree with blueerica, it's only going to get harder to try to get back to school, that goes for any school, highschool, college, etc. Once you have a job and are making money, it is very difficult find the time and the effort to take classes after working a full time job all day. Unfortunately, you only realize this in hindsight.

[Morrigoon]

If it's college he's anxious to get on to, look into programs through the high school that allow him to take college classes at the local JC which simultaneously give him HS credit. My high school had a lot of students doing that. It beats the pants off stopping HS altogether and it DOES get him a few credits ahead in college.

Most importantly, encourage him to take something that will inspire him. I mean, great if he takes English 101 or something, but perhaps encourage him to also sign up for a night course in drama or car repair or whatever floats his boat. Something to make going to school positive, because public high schools will take it out of even the best kids.

[Kevy Baby]

I have read this thread several times. I want to respond, but I do not know what to say that will get into the head of a 17 year-old.

Erica is right. When I was in high school, the thought of going to college was just not what I wanted to do. I went to community college for 1 class a semester just to say I was going to school. I wanted to go to work to have money for a car and fun. I was making $25,000 a year (the equivalent of about $48,000 a year now). I was in hog heaven.

But even then, I realized that what I was doing then is about all I could expect for the rest of my life. Sure, I could make more money, but my options (due to limited skill set) were limited.

I was fortunate - my father (and his new wife) offered to pay for me to go back to school. I jumped on it in a heartbeat and ended up graduating from Cal Poly SLO. While it was certainly difficult, it gave me so many more options in my life.

While this is about whether he should stay in high school, the example still applies. The more education that you have, the higher the odds that you will have more options in life. Despite what it says on paper, a GED is NOT equivalent to a regular high-school diploma. While not officially, a GED will be looked upon as someone who is not driven to complete something basic.

Leaving school now is trading a few months at the expense of the rest of his life. I understand that high school is very challenging for him. But the short term challenge is the easier way out than the long term struggle he would create for himself by leaving high school now.