Gifts that aren't.

[Cadaverous Pallor]

Not posting this on Facebook because I don't want this to get back to my husband's family.

Every year they have a gift exchange complete with random lottery and stealing game and every year the majority of the gifts are White Elephant gifts - that is, unwanted, useless, ugly, lame. If I'm lucky I get a candle. Hell, I'll steal a candle, because IMO it's the best thing there, and because no one else wants them, and I want to give others a chance to get something they might possibly want. In fact, most years, someone gives me the candle they won because they know I like them and they don't want it. Year after year it's disappointed faces opening packages with boxes obviously dented from over-re-gifting.

WHY? Why do we treat each other as a dumping ground? The limit is $10-$15. Why can't people just buy something nice for each other? I always take pride in not lowering my standards. I bring things people actually want. I buy gifts, not unearth crap in my closet. If I don't like it, I DONATE IT, I don't save it to shove into someone else's face unwanted.

When we started doing this years ago, when all the "kids" (our age) became adults, I thought this sort of immature attitude would change over time. After all, who wants to see the older generation open our cast off garbage? To me, that's the worst part, seeing senior citizens (that we happen to love dearly) open useless gifts and make sour faces. But no, year after year, nothing has changed. (BTW, my parents-in-law bowed out of the exchange this year.)

This year the evite said "gift cards preferred". All gift cards? What is even the point if everyone brings a $15 gift card?

In recent years I've been to other parties where they hold a "Favorite Things" gift exchange, where participants are instructed to bring something they love and want to share. Last year I went to one where the limit was very low - $5 - and the gifts were 10 times better. This year my mom's club had a favorite things exchange with a $13 limit and I believe absolutely everyone went home happy.

Seriously, WHY do people do this to each other when there are such nicer ways to do things?