To my Darling Max von Sydow:

Eliza Hodgkins 1812 · 06-30-2005, 03:39 PM

I need an exorcism.

There has got to be a demon living inside of my brain, for there can be no other explanation for the incredibly painful headache one gets while doing nothing more than glaring at her computer screen all day under painfully bright fluorescent lighting.

It certainly doesn’t have to do with reading on a moving bus, or sitting out in the hot sun for lunch. It cannot be the air conditioning or the fact that I haven’t had coffee since Sunday. It HAS to be a demon.

And not the spirit of a demon, either. An actual demon, maybe more than one, must be inside of my skull hammering away at it bone chip by bone chip. Certainly there are demons chewing on my gums, causing them to recede and hurt. I refuse to believe *that* has anything to do with not visiting a dentist in over 4 years.

It’s definitely demons. I picture them slippery and grey, shiny with perpetually evil sweat, with rounded horns and protruding bones, and sharp, sharp teeth for gnawing.

They ride around in my eyeballs on bicycles with orbital saws for wheels. They dive in and out of my pores, clogging them up. They slip slide down my throat and take a swim in my stomach acid and that’s what gives me indigestion. It’s certainly not enchiladas or pizza giving me stomach aches No. Nuh-uh. It’s DEMONS.

An exorcism is what I need. That’ll do the trick.

And I’m fairly certain the only person who could perform one properly is you, my sexy grandpa old man fantasy crush Max von Sydow. First, you performed an exorcism on Linda Blair, so you’re, like, totally qualified. Also, you are dead sexy even today. Seriously, you’re like a Nordic god or something. I bet you killed Grendel and Beowulf took all the credit, that’s how sexy you are. You’ve always been a favorite of mine. Ming! You were Ming! And you were in Conan the Barbarian. You were a wicked cool Fremin and a hot grandpa Satan in Needful “will this movie NEVER END?!?!” Things. Bond movies. Swedish movies. The list goes on and on for over 100 films.

Yes, yes, you were also in Bergman’s The Seventh Seal. Great fvcking movie. Really. Loved it.

But it ain’t The Ice Pirates. Pirates in space! With space herpes! My God, you rock, Sir! You rock!

Oh, but this day is hurting me, Max. May I call you Max?

Please stop hurting me, Day. My eyes. My head. My teeth. My typing fingers. My back? Does my back hurt? It all hurts. It’s like I’m your age or something.

On the bright side, the very fluorescent light bright side……….4 day weekend!!!!!!

4 DAY WEEKEND! So, Day, you’re not so bad. I guess we can be best chums again.

Still, I’ve got his horrible but slight ache in my head, and I’m convinced only you can cast it out, Max.

Also, this break from work day is brought to you by the need to take fifteen minutes for myself, since I’ve been working pretty steadily since I got here at 8:00 trying to fit two day’s worth of work into one (4 day weekend!!!!!), and I’m dog tired and, as I’ve said, in pain. And I’m going to be working late tonight.

So, will I see you at my place, say around 8? You bring the crucifix and the holy water and your fine, fine self. I’ll bring my demon(s) buddy (ies). Then, we party.

Love,
Audra, and her demon(s)

innerSpaceman · 06-30-2005, 04:00 PM

Max still gets six figures for even the most fleeting exorcism or film cameo appearance.

Are you prepared to pay that price just to rid yourself of the daemons whose presence contibutes an unknown quantity to the self you call your own?

Eliza Hodgkins 1812 · 06-30-2005, 04:10 PM

I distinguish between my charming daemon familiars and the evil bastards gouging out my brain, eyes, and gums. If I had six figures to give my dearest Max to exorcise THOSE demons, I'd pay him. He deserves the best! But I'm poor, so he'll have to accept sexual favors as payment in full. [smooch you]

Not Afraid · 06-30-2005, 04:12 PM

My favorite film line ever uttered by the Great Max is from Hannah and her Sisters......

Quote:

"If Jesus came back and saw what's going on in his name, he'd never stop
throwing up.

God, I love him.

LSPoorEeyorick · 06-30-2005, 05:35 PM

I don't suppose that your very Jeremy Sisto-esque "only tank tops-- even my clothes are hurting me" thing is coming from the three hours of sleep you got on Tuesday night? And the negligible amount of sleep you got last night? Seeing as when I awoke at six today, you were already awake... and there was clean laundry hanging about, none of which was there when I went to bed at eleven.

I know that all the cool goths are doin' it. And All Things Considered reported today that a study on orcas noted that wee orca-lings don't sleep at all for the first year or so (and neither do their mothers.) But that report also noted that humans, when deprived of sleep for more than a few days, have drastically reduced mental capabilities.

But I like your brain! And would like to keep it the way that it is. And would like you not to be in pain today. So, would you sleep, please? Someday?

06-30-2005, 03:39 PM	#1
Eliza Hodgkins 1812 Sputnik Sweetheart Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Long Beach Posts: 2,685	To my Darling Max von Sydow: I need an exorcism. There has got to be a demon living inside of my brain, for there can be no other explanation for the incredibly painful headache one gets while doing nothing more than glaring at her computer screen all day under painfully bright fluorescent lighting. It certainly doesn’t have to do with reading on a moving bus, or sitting out in the hot sun for lunch. It cannot be the air conditioning or the fact that I haven’t had coffee since Sunday. It HAS to be a demon. And not the spirit of a demon, either. An actual demon, maybe more than one, must be inside of my skull hammering away at it bone chip by bone chip. Certainly there are demons chewing on my gums, causing them to recede and hurt. I refuse to believe that has anything to do with not visiting a dentist in over 4 years. It’s definitely demons. I picture them slippery and grey, shiny with perpetually evil sweat, with rounded horns and protruding bones, and sharp, sharp teeth for gnawing. They ride around in my eyeballs on bicycles with orbital saws for wheels. They dive in and out of my pores, clogging them up. They slip slide down my throat and take a swim in my stomach acid and that’s what gives me indigestion. It’s certainly not enchiladas or pizza giving me stomach aches No. Nuh-uh. It’s DEMONS. An exorcism is what I need. That’ll do the trick. And I’m fairly certain the only person who could perform one properly is you, my sexy grandpa old man fantasy crush Max von Sydow. First, you performed an exorcism on Linda Blair, so you’re, like, totally qualified. Also, you are dead sexy even today. Seriously, you’re like a Nordic god or something. I bet you killed Grendel and Beowulf took all the credit, that’s how sexy you are. You’ve always been a favorite of mine. Ming! You were Ming! And you were in Conan the Barbarian. You were a wicked cool Fremin and a hot grandpa Satan in Needful “will this movie NEVER END?!?!” Things. Bond movies. Swedish movies. The list goes on and on for over 100 films. Yes, yes, you were also in Bergman’s The Seventh Seal. Great fvcking movie. Really. Loved it. But it ain’t The Ice Pirates. Pirates in space! With space herpes! My God, you rock, Sir! You rock! Oh, but this day is hurting me, Max. May I call you Max? Please stop hurting me, Day. My eyes. My head. My teeth. My typing fingers. My back? Does my back hurt? It all hurts. It’s like I’m your age or something. On the bright side, the very fluorescent light bright side……….4 day weekend!!!!!! 4 DAY WEEKEND! So, Day, you’re not so bad. I guess we can be best chums again. Still, I’ve got his horrible but slight ache in my head, and I’m convinced only you can cast it out, Max. Also, this break from work day is brought to you by the need to take fifteen minutes for myself, since I’ve been working pretty steadily since I got here at 8:00 trying to fit two day’s worth of work into one (4 day weekend!!!!!), and I’m dog tired and, as I’ve said, in pain. And I’m going to be working late tonight. So, will I see you at my place, say around 8? You bring the crucifix and the holy water and your fine, fine self. I’ll bring my demon(s) buddy (ies). Then, we party. Love, Audra, and her demon(s) Last edited by Eliza Hodgkins 1812 : 06-30-2005 at 03:51 PM.
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06-30-2005, 04:00 PM	#2
innerSpaceman Kink of Swank Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Inner Space Posts: 13,075	Max still gets six figures for even the most fleeting exorcism or film cameo appearance. Are you prepared to pay that price just to rid yourself of the daemons whose presence contibutes an unknown quantity to the self you call your own?
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06-30-2005, 04:10 PM	#3
Eliza Hodgkins 1812 Sputnik Sweetheart Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Long Beach Posts: 2,685	I distinguish between my charming daemon familiars and the evil bastards gouging out my brain, eyes, and gums. If I had six figures to give my dearest Max to exorcise THOSE demons, I'd pay him. He deserves the best! But I'm poor, so he'll have to accept sexual favors as payment in full. [smooch you]
	Submit to Quotes

06-30-2005, 05:35 PM	#5
LSPoorEeyorick scribblin' Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: in the moment Posts: 3,872	I don't suppose that your very Jeremy Sisto-esque "only tank tops-- even my clothes are hurting me" thing is coming from the three hours of sleep you got on Tuesday night? And the negligible amount of sleep you got last night? Seeing as when I awoke at six today, you were already awake... and there was clean laundry hanging about, none of which was there when I went to bed at eleven. I know that all the cool goths are doin' it. And All Things Considered reported today that a study on orcas noted that wee orca-lings don't sleep at all for the first year or so (and neither do their mothers.) But that report also noted that humans, when deprived of sleep for more than a few days, have drastically reduced mental capabilities. But I like your brain! And would like to keep it the way that it is. And would like you not to be in pain today. So, would you sleep, please? Someday?
	Submit to Quotes