Who's your Daddy?

[katiesue]

Maybe not who you think it is?

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20050811/...discrepancy_dc

Perhaps one out of every 25 dads could unknowingly be raising another man's child, a finding that has huge health and social implications, according to report released Wednesday.

Exposing so-called paternal discrepancy -- when a child is identified as being biologically fathered by someone other than the man who believes he is the father -- could lead to family violence and the breakup of many families. On the other hand, leaving paternal discrepancy hidden means having the wrong genetic information, which could have health consequences.

A UK-based research team reviewed scientific research dealing with paternity published between 1950 and 2004 and reports that rates of paternal discrepancy range from less than 1 percent to as much as 30 percent.

[SacTown Chronic]

I blame Clinton.

[MickeyLumbo]

rodham's a lesbo.

[SacTown Chronic]

That explains a lot.

[scaeagles]

I hear members of the Clinton administration prefer anonymous paternity.

[€uroMeinke]

I have to say I’m both amused and fascinated by this story, I can’t help but think back to the various Kinsey controversies. We don’t want to study human sexuality because we know we won’t live up to our standards.

I think it poses a curious ethical question. Is it better to acknowledge our actual sexual behavior – as unflattering as it may be? Or are we better, not discussing such things, and leaving the topic of sex firmly a taboo. In some ways it seems we’re victims to our own moral standards, if we can’t live up to them we lie about them or hide them. But is it even possible to get to a level of acceptance for certain sexual practices – such as extra-marital sex. Not to mention what downsides the acceptance might have to our individual relationships.

I’m curious, if you found yourself in the middle of a “paternal discrepancy” how would you like the situation handled?

[Brigitte]

At this point in my life, if it were my dad, I'd want to know who the bio dad was, but only (at first) for health reasons. Any further relationship with him would be determined by him. I don't think, for me, it would break up my family. My parents might have issues, but I wouldn't love them any less than I do now.

I think the person who raises the child has just as much, if not more, importance in the child's life, not just the one who gave them life. The hard part of being a parent isn't becoming one, it's the being one that kills you.

[scaeagles]

One important issue arising from this is one of financial responsibility. I recall reading about a case - although I can't recall exactly when and I am certain I could not find any link to the case online - where a man had been paying child support faithfully for 3 years, as it was assumed that this was his child. A few years later he took a paternity test (because of his own suspicions) and was found not to be the father. He stopped paying. A judge ruled that he had to continue doing so because it had been his "de facto" child.

Seemed like an odd ruling to me.

[Ghoulish Delight]

The thing about extra marital sex is that it isn't really even about the sexual taboo part of it. The devastating part is the complete break in trust and faith. The fact is, each spouse made a lifelong promise to the other, and one of them broke that promise. That's a difficult thing to get past, especially if it results in someone developing a whole new emotional relationship under false pretexts (i.e., bringing up someone else's child think they are your own). Now they've invested great amounts of time and emotional energy in something that's the result of a substantial breach in trust.

So the question of sexual taboo, as I see it, doesn't even come into play when thinking about post-infidelity reactions.

Where the question of sexual taboo comes into play is in attempting to prevent this kind of loss of trust to begin with. If we as a society were more open about sexuality, and more aware that the "ideal" of monogamy isn't ideal for everyone, a lot of this can be avoided. I am not, of course, decrying monogamy, just the fervent way in which our society insists that it's the only healthy answer. So what you end up with is people who have no capacity to handle a monogamous relationship being forced into them, and that leads to the lies necessary to cover up the resulting breaches of trust.

Of course, that far from covers all cases of infidelity. I'm not trying to imply that everyone who cheats is a swinger at heart, or that anyone who's been a swinger would definitely cheat if they entered a monogamous relationship. There are countless reasons people cheat. But certainly the freedom to feel like you can be honest about one's needs and desires would only reduce the amount of deceipt that takes place.

[Mousey Girl]

As much as it pains me to say this, I am toooooo like my dad not to be his daughter. Plus, I am built just like his sister. As for my sister (older) I have decided that she was hatched by aliens and placed with the Old People.