iPod Shuffle humor-

[Nephythys]

Every once in a rare while, I find something that is so assinine that I have to share.

To wit: For those of you that have listened to me bitch around the christmas season, I have decided to pick up an iPod, as much as I hate apple products, these new little MP3 players are slick and pretty useful. That and I like new gadgets.

I was going to have to wait for a few months to save up for the model I wanted until they came out with this slick little bad boy:

Behold, the iPod Shuffle.

Until that came out, the cheapest iPod I could get was about $300. Well, now I can get this little toy for $100. Nifty.

So I read the specs, I know for a third of the price, I'm going to be getting a third of the product, but still, I want to hedge my bets, make sure I'm gonna get what I pay for.

It's pretty cool from what I read. Holds a touch less than 1000 minutes of music. (See disclaimer 1 at the bottom of the page.) Rechargeable batteries. Alright. Good times. About as big as a pack of gum. (Note the comparision picture, and disclaimer 2 ad the bottom of the page... wait a sec...)

"Do not eat iPod Shuffle."

You know, I honestly was expecting to see a little disclaimer about the gum sizes or something, but do not eat? Isn't that a bit silly?

Then I thought about it, and I wept.

Is it just me, or has darwinism faded so much in this world, that we must now warn people not to chow down on their electronics because it was shown next to a pack of gum?

Fortunately for my sanity, the online communities seem to think Apple put this down at the bottom to make their product more memorable to geeks who notice it, like myself. At the same time, I remember working as a volunteer for a friend's computer shop, and seeing the ambient intelligence of most people who came in with an beat-up iMac. (No offence to the few of you out there who might actually know how to effectively use OSX.) On top of that, we live in a society where coffee shops and fast food restaurants have to make absolutely sure we're aware that that drink that we ordered hot, is in fact hot. Or else some moron's going to make a mint off of you when they burn themselves on that drink which is in fact hot. Like they ordered it.

Take a second to process that before you go on.

So, just wondering how assinine we could get with this, I looked up more warning labels on google, I came up with:

A hairdryer that warned you not to try to dry your hair in your sleep.

An iron that makes sure you've taken off the clothes you plan to iron before you start to iron them.

A bag of peanuts that reiterates the point that the product DOES contain nuts.

The kicker, a child's Superman costume that just gives a friendly note that the kid won't be able to fly if he puts the costume on.

I understand it's kind of cruel for me to mention survival of the fittest in these situations, but we're rapidly approaching a point where my seed will be too good for this world, and no one wants that. (By the by, did I mention I'm a narcisistic prick?) Maybe it's just the fact that I'm at work. Maybe my tolerance is just whittled down to nothing due to people who can't find the "Any" key, as well as people who wonder why their "foot pedal" isn't working. (Thank you, Gooey.)

To conclude, don't do your hair in your sleep. Don't mourn for little Timmy's loss. Thanks to him, all the other little scamps that want to be Superman will know not to actually try to leap tall buildings in a single bound.

...and for the love of God. Don't eat your iPod. Especially since I still want one, and it's a waste.

(stolen from the CO Rogue boards- because TJ is too funny not to share)

[mousepod]

In a similar vein, check this out

“Once used rectally, the thermometer should not be used orally.”

[Ghoulish Delight]

In the same vein, Wacky Warning Labels Contest



Edit: I think I like the way this MousePod guy thinks...

[blueerica]

HAHAHA!! That's pretty funny!

But seriously, though I'm hoping it's some egghead humor, that Little Reminder might come with that iPod because there are plenty of stoopid people out there. Someone, I'm sure, will try to eat the iPod while in a drunken stupor, and it's probably not the worst thing that Apple's doing a little CYA, especially as their products become more accessible to the masses... Just because your gun's firing at full speed doesn't mean everyone else's is.

On a side note, that McDonald's lady didn't sue for much money over her medical expenses (She won 200K, which was reduced to 160K, because she was found to be partially at fault). It was a sensationalized case, and she was horribly burned (3rd degree -- down to her fatty layer & unfixable with grafting) because she was in the car, and the liquid, once in her clothing, continued to burn her for something like half an hour. While one could say she should have waited for that first sip (I do! McD's joe burns my tastebuds off, even still!), it wasn't exactly her fault that they had their coffee warmer set to atomic (180-190 degrees Fahrenheit). /podium

[MickeyD]

If they didn't want people to eat them, why are they called "Apple"?

[blueerica]

Originally Posted by MickeyD

If they didn't want people to eat them, why are they called "Apple"?

HAHAAHAHAA!!

[Gn2Dlnd]

Thanks, MickeyD. I laughed. Out loud!
Mojo coming your way.

[Gn2Dlnd]

The disclaimer about not eating the iPod is a joke re: its similarity in size to a pack of gum.
See the webpage, and particularly footnote (2), here.

And thanks, Blueerica, for the facts regarding the coffee incident. I knew it involved an elderly woman and lava hot coffee, but never knew the details. Tool in trade, though, for most conservative talk show hosts.

[Nephythys]

feh- it's still funny

and I want one!

[Gn2Dlnd]

I owned a 512 MB mp3 player for exactly one night. It held only about 5 CDs. I do like the fact that the Shuffle lets you connect to iTunes and get a random selection of songs for the day, though.