router won't connect to the internet

[Prudence]

Apparently I'm a complete moron. I set my network up last time, but now it won't work at all. Because I am clearly the biggest idiot on this rock, hopefully someone can assist me.

I am currently connected directly to my Verizon DSL-provided modem, which is connected to the phone outlet.

I would like to be connected to the Linksys WRT54G router (wired or wireless, I'm not picky at this point), which would be connected to the modem which would be connected to the phone outlet.

Here is what I have tried:

The last router was connected via DHCP. So, I've tried using the router's set-up wizard CD to select that option for connection type. Once that connection type is selected, there are NO other options to select/enter, save for the admin password one sets. However, it will not connect to the internet, according to the subsequent error message.

I have tried going in through my browser to 192.168.1.1 and selecting DHCP that way. When I do, and go to the status tab, it says automatic IP, but it is not connected.

The instructions on the Verizon website say to select PPPoE. I don't know why. If I select that option, either using the wizard from CD or the browser access point it asks for a username and password. Yes, there's a username and password to access my account info on the Verizon site, but they don't work here - same non-connecting error message. And why would I need a password to connect via router and not directly through the modem?

What the hell am I doing wrong? Has Verizon just changed their settings so you can't do wireless unless you buy their specific equipment? Am I just too stupid to have a network and should give my laptop and all computer equipment to the next passer-by?