Uh...What do you say to this?

[tracilicious]

Tonight we decided to take the kids and head out to a nearby Greek restaurant. The food was fantastic, and while we were tolerating our terribly slow service, a belly dancer came out and started dancing. Indi was fairly mesmerized by this very pretty Greek woman gyrating around the restaurant. He sees customers giving her money (by way of sticking in her skirt) and he wants to do it too. Ok, harmless enough, so we give him a few dollars. He stands in his chair and starts waving his dollar to give her. As soon as she notices him and starts coming over he throws his dollar at her. We explain that people usually just hand it to her or stick it in the rim of her skirt. She comes around for the second dollar and he gladly places it on her hip.

As she dances on the other side of the restaurant he tells me, "Mommy, I really want to see her naked." A normal human reaction, but he's not even four yet!!!! I was just like, "Oh really" as casually as I possibly could given that I was trying to both not fall out of my chair with shock and not crack up laughing. The next thing he says is, "She wants more money!" So, not wanting to give the impression that I disapproved of his feelings for the woman, I gave him a few more dollars.

She comes over and is standing waiting for him to put the money in, not really paying much attention. I look over just in time to see him stuff the money right in the middle of her very low skirt, in the front. I.e. crotch. Now, I don't think he was intentionally trying to cop a feel (can you use that for crotch, or is it just boobs?), as he doesn't have a clue about sex. I'll just call it primal instinct. He spent the rest of the time watching her and asking for more money. Luckily, I was out of dollars. Then the entire car trip home he talked about the "belly lady" and her bellybutton ring and her tattoo and how he wanted to go back and see her again.

Sigh...I didn't expect it to start this early!

[wendybeth]

Oh, my.


(You're in for a ride with that one, you are!)

[€uroMeinke]

Visible Mojo for Indi!

(And fond memories of my own first experience at Disneyland's own Tahitian Terrance and the dancers within)

[Strangler Lewis]

When I was a kid, I petted the tail of a bunny at The Playboy Club in New York. I was a good 7 or 8, though.

[Not Afraid]

Nice quote fodder there, Traci!

[3894]

Originally Posted by tracilicious

he doesn't have a clue about sex. I'll just call it primal instinct. He spent the rest of the time watching her and asking for more money.

Objectification of women is not a primal instinct. Your son has had an early lesson in the values of our society.

[RStar]

Originally Posted by 3894

Objectification of women is not a primal instinct. Your son has had an early lesson in the values of our society.

Which is to say that our society doens't always have the best intentions with their values, and I would discuss that with your son at times like this.

That girl was just working, and tipping her was just like tipping a waitress, in a way. But the fact that her dancing was enough to make a small child want to see her nakid tells us what was wrong with it.

I would be sure to let him know that it's an exotic part of another culture, but it can be taken two ways. The proper way is that it is an interesting dance. Just like the two ways the human body can be viewed. There's a "dirty" way, and a "clean" way (terms a pre-schooler may understand).

The human body is a beautifull thing, a wonder in all it's atributes. The fact the we have our senses, can reproduce, and the differences between male and female (although he brought this up, it still may be a little soon for the birds and the bees, but you're the best judge of that) makes it a wonder to behold. And viewed that way in art, like the David sculpture, there is nothing wrong with it.

I also wonder why he said that to you in the first place. I'm sure he doesn't understand what sex is, so had he heard it somewhere before? Like with some older boys that looked at a girl and said "Wow, I'd like to see her nakid!" and so he thought it is what should have been said at the time? Or perhaps he was trying to be a "grown up"? However at his age I'm sure he most likely didn't know what he was saying, and I wouldn't worry too much about it as kids do repeat what they hear withought knowing it's meaning. And if things like this continue, I'd gently nudge him the right way with life lessons. That is our job as parents, to mold our children and guide them along the right path.

[mousepod]

When I was in first grade, my friend Matt told me that in Paris, people fvck in the street.

Without having an idea of what the word meant, I asked my Mom, "Do people fvck in the street in Paris?"

She took a deep breath, and said "Jesse, the word fvck is a word that is wrong to use in public. Even though it doesn't describe anything wrong, you should never repeat that word, because some people might be hurt by it.

... and no, they don't."

I was absolutely satisfied with her answer. I knew where babies came from, but the concept of sexuality was foreign to me. I was less concerned with the specifics of what the older kid had told me than the fact that he was wrong.

[€uroMeinke]

Originally Posted by 3894

Objectification of women is not a primal instinct. Your son has had an early lesson in the values of our society.

Hmmm - I'd like to dig a bit deeper by what you mean here. The "objectification of women" is such a cliché phrase with a lot of negative connotations attached.

If I put my Existentialist hat on, all human interactions are a struggle between being subject and object - and when I'm one I can't be the other. Sure the woman is being an object, but so is the wait staff, the other patrons, and probably at least partly mom and dad.

But I suspect you're going anthropological with this one, which also makes me curious as your comment to me suggests there are cultures where concepts of beauty and desire are not intertwined, or that cultures exist that where there is no objectification and my existentialist self doubts that to be the case.

[Kevy Baby]

Damnit it €, I had this great response outlined in my mind and you have to go and post something that would make my rant response pale by comparison.

In other words, nice post!