Reconciliation

[Cadaverous Pallor]

A year ago my brother had a son. I didn't post anything else about that scene, I don't think.

My brother had moved to Alaska and joined the Air Force. When he left, my father cautioned him to try find a Jewish community and continue to practice it. Alaska isn't exactly New York and my brother obviously just kinda let it go. Hell, here in OC I've let it go too.

Of course, he met a non-Jewish girl and fell in love. Not only is she not Jewish - she is divorced and has a daughter. At first she was a secret that he only told the siblings. When she got pregnant, things got tricky.

He decided to settle down with her. I thought it honorable. When he broke the news to Mom and Dad he promised they'd look into getting her converted. When they broke that promise, my father stopped speaking to him.

They got married in a small ceremony and went to dinner with friends and family up there. A few months later the baby was born. Such joyous occasions, so much hurt that we couldn't all be joyous together.

I found myself grateful that at least my father wasn't completely irrational about it. We continued to talk about him in his presence, and he didn't banish my brother's photos or anything. He didn't do the traditional thing of saying prayers of mourning over the person who betrayed the faith. It wasn't as bad as it could have been.

It still sucked though. Especially after we visited them and saw their wonderful family. They were obviously happy and healthy in all ways, and it pained me that there was a divide where there obviously didn't need to be one. Seriously, if my brother had truly made a bad decision, or was doing wrong by his family (or they had done wrong wrong by him), then I'd understand some sort of strained relations. But as it stood, it was just tragic that my parents were missing out on their first grandchild.

My mother did go to visit but that ended in arguments. Sigh.

Cut to a few days ago. My brother fell into some extremely cheap tickets and suddenly, a plan is formed to visit us. He contacts my grandmother and I to figure out where they can stay. I'm excited to see them but anticipate problems with my family.....will they want to see him? Will they ignore the whole thing? Will I have to host at my place and whoever wants to show will show?

My brother, the absolute mensch he is, calls my parents and insists to speak to my father. He lays it all out for him - If you want to see us, great, if not, we'll go elsewhere and visit the rest of the family.

My father, who has never been known to do such a thing before in his whole stubborn life, accepted the fact that the divide in the family was doing no one any good. He invited my brother's family to stay at their house. He wants to meet my brother's wife, her daughter, and his first grandchild.

It's something I never dreamed would happen. It was an emotional evening for everyone. This will be quite a reconciliation. My father and brother will be meeting minds for the first time in years and will get to know each other again.

It's a happy day in the universe. I hope things go well. I'm sure if my dad lets my brother back into his life, he'll see that my brother is a wonderful husband, father, and human being.

[innerSpaceman]

and

[DreadPirateRoberts]

that is great news!

[LSPoorEeyorick]

Hurrah! I'm so happy for you and your family.

[MouseWife]

That is a beautiful story.

Yeah for your Dad for realizing his son is a man in his own right and then yeah for your brother for being that man.

I know it is difficult with the religion facts but life is life. As parents we have to really try the best we can but accept that these children are not us.

Awesome of your dad. I mean, he is older and most older folk don't budge.

I would love to see pics of the baby now.

[SacTown Chronic]

I admire your brother's capacity for forgiveness, CP.

[JWBear]

It's amazing what love of family can overcome.

[BarTopDancer]

For your brother and your dad.

[Not Afraid]

to your Brother for putting his suff aside and confronting your father. It would've been so easy to continue to "play the game". to your father for being open enough to talk to him and be open to reconciliation. I hope to hear about one big, happy family reunion.

[mousepod]

What a great story. I always find it sad when families are divided over belief systems. It sounds like your brother is a righteous dude, and your dad is starting to understand that. I hope you get to spend a lot of time with the family when they come down.

Mazel Tov!