Can we talk about porn?

[Moonliner]

We have serious discussions about religion, politics and a myriad of other topics but what about porn? It's a subject that's been on my mind of late.

We hear a lot about protecting kids from the evils of the Internet and specifically porn. In general the order of the day is the total eradication of pornography from life.

However at a certain age, I'd be more concerned that my kids were not looking for porn. I think we are hitting that age with my older one.

At that age I just sunk into my dads closet and looked at his stacks of Playboys but what about today's generation? They have the Internet. Holy crap some of the sites you find there are just evil. I really don't want his first erotic images to come from www.HappyHorseJumpers.com if you know what I mean. It seems like the nastier a site is the easier it is to find. I can't (and don't want to) filter everything.... I might just have to subscribe to the Playboy or Penthouse site and leave the password just lying around (ie taped to the front of his monitor). Of course if any of the other parents around here find out they saw "porn" on my kids PC and I knew about it we'd be toast. It's a dilemma I tell you.

[Not Afraid]

Yeah, we used to steal playboy and penthouse from my friend's Dad to look at - not that there were any pics of naked men in there, but we were all fascinated with things like "when will we get pubic hair?" or "when will we grow boobies?"

Knowing the "facts of life" is one thing, but a kid has to be able to explore their own sexuality and feel comfortable with it. I think that's healthy.

Chris' mom had the right approach, I think, She just left a few copies of Playboy in his room.

[€uroMeinke]

Honestly, I'm fascinated with the topic of porn as a cultural phenomena. Clearly with the advent of the internet, it has a growing acceptance as part of the cultural environment. People know famous porn stars as they world politicians or other cultural icons. It now can be viewed privately in the home without going to a seedy part of town or subscribing to some plain wrap publication with an assumed name.

Yet, the taboos still remain. "It will harm the children," people claim, but like you I think I stumbled upon my first porn cache at the age of 8 and I'm still clueless as to what harm that may have done me. There are so many things we wish to desexualize, and yet marketers and the media know that we are sexual beings and sex sells.

I guess the variety of kink has become more pronounced and available with the internet, so that gives a lot of room for experimentation or research, what turns you on versus what turns your stomach, or what just bores you.

I don't think denying sex and porn is the answer, I think the better approach is to put things in context. Recognize that porn is a form of entertainment, that what you see (like other media representations) might not be real, that connecting with people takes more than the mechanics of sex, but that the mechanics of sex can be pleasurable on thier own.

I don't know, but I can't wait to see where this thread goes.

[Motorboat Cruiser]

I much prefer how most of Europe tends to deal with this issue of human sexuality. There is far more honesty and far less squeamishness. Where they get squeamish is when it comes to violence, for it seems that they have learned that violence is just a tad more destructive than images of the human body having sex.

I often wonder which is more harmful for a child, seeing a picture of a naked body, or having it constantly reenforced that sex is wrong, dirty, and something that should never be discussed out in the open. In my opinion, the latter is far more harmful and ultimately, does nothing to protect anyone. People don't need to be protected from images of sex. They need to protected, in the way of honest information, from sexually transmitted diseases, unintended pregnancy, etc...

[€uroMeinke]

To underscore my mention of the mainstreaming of porn, I just got this add from the LA Phil, which features a woman's mouth bitting a pearl necklace and the note:

(Because of explicit content, no one under 17 will be admitted.)

[Ghoulish Delight]

It's a tough question. I know for a fact that easy access to internet porn through my adolescense, and even into my college years, definitely shaped my sexuality into directions it would not have taken otherwise. Some of it probably made my sex life healthier. Some of it probably screwed me up pretty good. The net result? Eh, I think I came out okay. Better than most if I may be so bold. But I think that has more to do with my parents' honesty in regards to sex with me from an early age, long before my exposure to porn.

I do know that what we DON'T need is legislation against it. But as a future parent, I do plan on doing what I can to delay my child(ren)'s expsure to it until they're at a point that they can hopefully digest it in a healthy way. I wouldn't treat it as some horrific, instantly corrupting force of evil, but I certainly won't encourage it.

[Moonliner]

Originally Posted by €uroMeinke

I guess the variety of kink has become more pronounced and available with the internet, so that gives a lot of room for experimentation or research, what turns you on versus what turns your stomach, or what just bores you.

If that stack of porn you found at age 8 had included animals, torture/bondage, urination, etc... do you think it would have had a different effect on you?

[€uroMeinke]

Originally Posted by Moonliner

If that stack of porn you found at age 8 had included animals, torture/bondage, urination, etc... do you think it would have had a different effect on you?

That's hard to say, to put myself back in the 8-year old mind, but I'd probably have an "eww gross" reaction, or thought it funny and showed my friends, particularly if it's the felating a horse variety. I might have been a bit turned on or fascinated if the bondage porn was that japanese style of intricate knot and rope work. The Urination one might have tickled me at age 5, or whatever time bathroom functions were a source of amusement (I let my subscription to Penthouse lapse when urination became a part of every photo-spread, just not my thing)

[Disneyphile]

Overall, I think it's important to let kids of age know that their feelings and desires are ok.

I know for a fact that condemning a teen boy for wanting to look at boobies can cause some really bad problems in their adult life.

It's important for them to not feel ashamed of normal behavior.

[Bornieo: Fully Loaded]

Hmmmm...
I tend to agree with Euro on this.

It is entertainment that's not for kids, granted. I think shoving it under the bed (so to speak ) isn't a healthy thing for kids. I think it falls under the subject of Birds and the Bees sort of thing. It's an individual parental issue and how they believe thier child should be exposed to it. It seems when alot of us where younger and in that age-range of curiosity, it was a bit more innocent. Meaning, Playboy was a bunch of women in relcined positions. Today, with the internet you get everything to every extreme and I think that changes the playing field quite a bit.