Local Darwin Award Winner

[innerSpaceman]

Ever wonder what percentage of criminals are caught by virtue of their own stupidity, and how many are really caught due to the valiant efforts of law enforcement?

The Darwin Awards provides an annual hoot-fest of stupid criminals who get themselves caught, and I personally believe most crimes are "solved" because criminals are nimrods.



Today, I got a local "Darwin Award" report from zapppop, who was in court to testify against the moron accused of stealing his storage locker stuff and his identity.

As soon as zapppop took the stand and before he uttered one word of testimony, the defendant changed his plea to "Guilty" (that is all) and threw himself on the mercy of the court. He will be sentenced to three years in prison.


But get a load of how he was caught.

The dimwit who had been robbing things from more than one victim drove through a red light.

At the time, he had a red suitcase in the trunk of his car.

In the suitcase were the documents and other goods stolen from zapppop.


When the officer who stopped him for running a red light found the suspicious materials in the trunk of the car, the retard’s claims that the stuff in his own car trunk were put there by someone else fell on deaf ears ....

... because also in the suitcase with the stolen goods in the trunk of the car that ran a red light - - was the fuctard’s own wallet.



And so the local Darwin Award of 2007 goes to the asshat who stole zapppop’s stuff.

Enjoy your three years in the slammer!

[NirvanaMan]

Cheers to the good guys winning for once!

[Capt Jack]

awesome....but I thought Darwins were awarded to those who, through similar "fuctarded" efforts of their own doing resulted in their removal from the gene pool as it were....ie: they died.

none the less, the guy will probably wish he had by the end of 3 years. I wonder if its considered 'cruel and unusual' to go visit him periodically and laugh at him through the window.

[innerSpaceman]

I believe the Darwins have multiple categories. Perhaps the main one is indeed doofs who off themselves, but I've always been more fascinated with their true criminal idiot stories (such as the guy who, while robbing a liquor store ... is convinced by the shopkeeper to prove his age with his driver's licence before he can steal a bottle of whiskey. The perp is later arrested at his home address. TeeHee.)



Please forgive my selective memory.


(It's better than the none-at-all I'm inevitably headed for.)

[Capt Jack]

yup. youre right. went and looked a few up (and had a really good laugh in the process). they have categories for both lethal and non-lethal failures.

[Ghoulish Delight]

I used it in a sentence earlier, but this is the perfect thread to introduce my new favorite vocabulary word, unwittingly coined by EH1812:

Crimical: adj. An amalgam of "criminal" and "comical" used to describe felonious activities that result in some form of humor, often in the form of the perpetrator leading to their own capture through comical oversight.

[BarTopDancer]

Moron.

[alphabassettgrrl]

Yay to the moron getting jail time!

[Disneyphile]

Awesome! I bet he even sat there, wondering how he got caught. Stupid dork.

[Isaac]

Well now that iSm has told you his side of the story, here's mine.